The Hand That Rocks The Cradle

Fear not, I’m not a disgraced medical professional’s widow on the warpath.  For one, the last time I went blonde I resembled a mangy rescued mongrel after having to cut out chunks of matted hair with the kitchen scissors, and secondly, my sanity can barely withstand over an hour at a soft play centre with... Continue Reading →

S#!ts and Giggles

I’ll be honest with you, before the mini people arrived on the scene, the most nerve wracking a bowel movement got was when the gorilla’s thumb was poking out and I’d forgotten to get another loo roll before unceremoniously parking my rear on the throne.  In my book there’s no better start to the day... Continue Reading →

Who You Are

For me depression isn’t just an illness, it’s also a mask.  It hides behind smiles and laughter just as easily as tears.  I’ll never be one to tread the boards or quote the bard, but my mental health, when it’s in decline, does turn me into a performer of sorts; an illusionist.  For a long... Continue Reading →

Be An Eleven Out of Ten

If you’re reading this, you may have cottoned on by the title, that I am a ma-hoo-sive Stranger Things fan!  Seriously I’ve lost count of the times I’ve binge watched both series whilst unceremoniously anointing myself in crumbs from scoffing one too many chocolate digestives.  However, my devotion to it goes beyond the van flips... Continue Reading →

Always The Last To Know

If there was one song that would some up the soundtrack to my life it would most likely be Del Amitri’s prophetic; always the last to know. To begin with whenever I was out of my depth I’d try and cover it using the tried and tested Joey Tribbiani smile and nod method, but then... Continue Reading →

What Would Jason Do?

Ever notice how when someone shines the spotlight on you, your brain immediately freezes? Every prior thought drains from you like rats fleeing a sinking ship. No? Just me then! I'd say I'm similar to Khaleesi, minus the dragons and the body. I'm more Maker of Chains and First to the Toilet than rightful heir... Continue Reading →

Silhouette

Gnarled fingers probe the sky Bare arms shower passersby Eyebrows heavyset with bark Watch with envy couples lark Leaves shiver to ground Roots eager to be found Moonlit limbs outstretched Greedily devour lovers breath Entombed silhouette

Rag Lady

Time stills Clocks Rest Frozen air lights shallow breath   Toes numb with dread Resigned to follow One made of thread   Knuckles clenched Jaw taut Committed to the last walk   Such cunning serpentine He treads her path weaved of vine   Atop a mound of earth she waits Hands plead when prior would... Continue Reading →

Duty of Care

Yes, it’s that time of year again.  When, if like myself, you’re in charge of mini-people, you prepare to take a deep inhalation of breath as you squeeze through the toy aisles only to be shafted by the manufacturers who seem to affix prices with the randomness of the FA cup draw. The season when... Continue Reading →

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